You didn't. [He never does. It's always Mike saying the wrong thing, being too intense, too loud. Will is perfect, just enough, just right.]
It's... different, I think. You had to deal with so much at home, but I didn't- [Oh lord, more words, about himself. Can't they just talk about Will forever?] I didn't realize all the way 'til I was in Deerington, and everyone was talking about how normal and fine it is here, and in the future - even in Indiana.
[He finally reaches back out, slowly and cautiously, halfway afraid Will is going to bolt; his finger's light on Will's elbow, soft as a breath. And even softer, like he's relaying some kind of holy secret-]
Wade's from the future, and he's dating Spider-Man. Even Spider-Man likes boys.
...you had to deal with other stuff. [he's talking about the black hole, of course, that awful numbing pit of darkness that he'd gotten a glimpse of. but he's also talking about every time mike was talked over or lectured or grounded, or every time he gritted his teeth and curled his fingers into fists and glared at his lap or his plate or the wall until his eyes stopped tearing up. will's seen it, over and over, since they were little. it was a while before he realized it was even wrong, it was so normal.
he wonders if it became normal for mike too.
so, despite his awkwardness, his hesitation, will moves so his hand rests back in mike's, looking down like he has to watch carefully as their fingers tangle together, even though he's done it a million times.]
...Spider-Man likes girls too, though. [he glances up, quickly, under his shaggy hair.] Do you -- still like them? Girls?
[Mike's mind doesn't even go back to the black hole when Will says that. Other stuff, he hears, and he thinks - monsters, danger, terror. And he's just about to protest, to fall back on You had it worse, when the second hits like a curveball.
His ears feel very warm.]
I-I don't know. I think so. [He has thought. He's thought a lot, and he's mostly sure that he's fairly certain he still likes girls at least fifty percent of the time. Because so far in his life he's liked two people, and one was a girl and one was a boy, and that math works out pretty neatly.] Maybe I'm like Spider-Man.
[Just without the superpowers, which is honestly a drag when you get bullied just as much as Spider-Man too.]
[will's looking down at their hands, still, running his thumb gently over the bumps of mike's knuckles, tracing the freckles there -- even his hands have freckles.]
That'd be cool. Spider-Man's cool. [and mike is cool, that goes without saying. will swallows hard, licks his lips, looks up at mike again with those big, solemn, wide eyes.] ...you know it doesn't change anything. Right? I don't -- you're still my best friend. You're still you.
[he's saying what he wants to hear, what he's always prayed people (his mom, jonathan, his friends) would say if his secret ever got out. but it's true. nothing could change the place mike occupies, that sacred role of best friend, protector, leader. the person will loves more desperately and helplessly than anyone.]
[From Will's wide eyes and nervous fidgets, Mike can tell what importance the words hold to him, and he's just as raw and deliberate when he tips his head down and replies, ] You are, too.
[His fingers twitch against Will's, still full of the same buzzing, fumbling energy, but something feels different, better. He doesn't have the sense that if he doesn't jump, if he doesn't blurt something out, it's all going to unravel away from him.]
[will keeps looking down, watching mike's hand, watching him breathe, listening to his voice. he -- wants to believe it. he wants to believe everything will be okay if he does believe it. that he's allowed to. that it's okay.
so he nods, finally. squeezes mike's hand a little tighter.]
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It's... different, I think. You had to deal with so much at home, but I didn't- [Oh lord, more words, about himself. Can't they just talk about Will forever?] I didn't realize all the way 'til I was in Deerington, and everyone was talking about how normal and fine it is here, and in the future - even in Indiana.
[He finally reaches back out, slowly and cautiously, halfway afraid Will is going to bolt; his finger's light on Will's elbow, soft as a breath. And even softer, like he's relaying some kind of holy secret-]
Wade's from the future, and he's dating Spider-Man. Even Spider-Man likes boys.
no subject
he wonders if it became normal for mike too.
so, despite his awkwardness, his hesitation, will moves so his hand rests back in mike's, looking down like he has to watch carefully as their fingers tangle together, even though he's done it a million times.]
...Spider-Man likes girls too, though. [he glances up, quickly, under his shaggy hair.] Do you -- still like them? Girls?
no subject
His ears feel very warm.]
I-I don't know. I think so. [He has thought. He's thought a lot, and he's mostly sure that he's fairly certain he still likes girls at least fifty percent of the time. Because so far in his life he's liked two people, and one was a girl and one was a boy, and that math works out pretty neatly.] Maybe I'm like Spider-Man.
[Just without the superpowers, which is honestly a drag when you get bullied just as much as Spider-Man too.]
no subject
That'd be cool. Spider-Man's cool. [and mike is cool, that goes without saying. will swallows hard, licks his lips, looks up at mike again with those big, solemn, wide eyes.] ...you know it doesn't change anything. Right? I don't -- you're still my best friend. You're still you.
[he's saying what he wants to hear, what he's always prayed people (his mom, jonathan, his friends) would say if his secret ever got out. but it's true. nothing could change the place mike occupies, that sacred role of best friend, protector, leader. the person will loves more desperately and helplessly than anyone.]
no subject
[His fingers twitch against Will's, still full of the same buzzing, fumbling energy, but something feels different, better. He doesn't have the sense that if he doesn't jump, if he doesn't blurt something out, it's all going to unravel away from him.]
You're always gonna be, okay?
no subject
so he nods, finally. squeezes mike's hand a little tighter.]
Okay.